Pteridophobia
by United Profilers
Summary: Morgan has a hard time believing Reid's latest fear.


**I do not own Criminal Minds.**

**I'd rather not say how this story was inspired... :P**

Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid stared long and hard at his tormentor. He was so frozen with fear that he might as well been physically restrained. The 'evil one', as Reid dubbed it in his mind, sat there innocently, looking as harmless as ever, resting in a bouquet of beautiful flowers. The flowers though, did not help ease the tension between the young genius and his archenemy.

Morgan sat at his desk a few feet away, he was aware of his friend practically staring holes in the plastic pot, and frankly, it was getting on his nerves. Only because he's been staring at it for a good ten minutes now, he didn't even realize the extra paperwork Emily had slipped onto his desk before she went to the break room.

"Okay, kid, seriously, why do you keep looking at the flowers, hm?" Derek asked. "You like them that much?"

Spencer shook his head. "No, that's not it." His line of sight never fell off the plants.

"Fine, what is it then?" He questioned. "You haven't stopped looking at them since the deliverer brought them in. Do you want them that badly?"

"N-no, of course not." Reid responded quickly.

"Good." Morgan said. "Because they're for my mother in Chicago."

"Maybe you should take out that thing." Spencer pointed at the bunch of flowers.

"What thing?" Derek raised an eyebrow, studying the plants in order to see where his co-worker was getting at.

The younger man sighed, as if his colleague was blind. _"That _thing._"_

The dark skinned agent followed his long, skinny finger, it pointed at a small piece of greenery. Confused, he picked it up and pulled it out of the pot. "This?" He showed it to Reid.

"Yes, that." Spencer said, moving his chair back a couple of inches.

"What's wrong with it?" He asked, staring at the small plant in his hand.

"Doesn't it creep you out?"

"A fern, Reid?" Morgan stared in disbelief at him. "Are you telling me you're _scared _of them?"

"Very much so." He admitted, his cheeks turning red. "Specifically a certain variety, particularly like the one you're holding."

"It's a plant, kid." Derek shook his head. "Besides, I thought all ferns were just ferns."

"Not exactly." He began. "That one you're holding is known as a bracken fern, or simply bracken. It's the most prominent species of fern on the planet, the only places it never grows are the arctic and in deserts. It's considered a pest of a weed by many, because it's poisonous to livestock, and it has a toxic effect on other plants growing nearby. It's consumed widely in East Asia, but many researchers believe that consumption of bracken ferns are linked to higher risks of stomach cancer. They're difficult to get rid of, the British government even has a program focused on getting rid of the plants and preventing them from regrowing."

"Is that why you're scared of them?" Morgan asked honestly.

"Not really, it's just the appearance once they've grown out like that. The fronds, the leaves, just look eerie." He shook.

"Whatever." Derek turned and put the bracken back with the flowers, he then began to look through paperwork.

Spencer stared at him for a moment. "There is a name for having a fear of ferns, you know."

"Crazy?" The older agent asked with a grin.

"No." Reid was now glaring. "It's called Pteridophobia. An Austrian neurologist known as Sigmund Frued had it."

"Only you would know that."

"It's a very uncommon phobia, only a small selection of people have it."

"And you just happen to be one of them." Derek rolled his eyes. He was trying to sound bored in order to get on the young doctor's nerves..

"Yes." Spencer said. He went and sat down at his desk, sulking.

Morgan stared at the plant that his friend is apparently afraid of, he just didn't get what Reid found so frightening about it. It's just a piece of vegetation, sure, one might not want to eat it, but simply touching it or looking at it isn't going to hurt you. He found it hard sometimes to believe that the kid was a genius, to think that he has such a ridiculous fear like being afraid of a certain species of plant was a head shaker. That's Spencer though, he can be quite unpredictable at times.

Kevin Lynch came through the glass doors, a large bouquet in his arm, consisting of several flowers and a couple small roses. He half rushed into the bullpen, out of breath as if he ran the whole way from wherever he came from. However, Reid instantly caught sight of a large, fake bracken fern hanging out from one side of the holder. He gulped and pushed his chair away.

"Hey, is Garcia in?" Kevin asked.

"She's up in her office, Casanova." Morgan grinned.

"Thanks." He nodded, then proceeded toward his destination. He wasn't aware of a piece of paper on the carpet, and his foot landed on it, causing him to slip, falling to his right side, he cried out. "Whoa!" his grip on the flowers was lost and they went flying, the fake bracken landing straight on the face of it's unfortunate target.

A scream was followed by a loud crashing sound that nearly shook the whole floor. Hotch was first to arrive on the scene, his usual stoic expression filled with concern, Rossi and the others soon joined him. Prentiss rushed out of the break room, a cup of coffee in her hand. They were all about to demand what happened when they noticed Morgan and Lynch staring at the ceiling with wide eyes and open mouths. The remainder of the team followed their gaze and some of them had to do a double take.

A pair of dark tan slacks, along with an orange sock and a black and gray striped one, and dark blue Converse shoes dangled from a hole in the ceiling, bits and pieces of the damage crumbled and fell onto desks and the floor, where a bunch of flowers were scattered about.

"How did..." Emily finally managed to speak, but she failed to finish her question.

Hotch sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Morgan, what happened?" He dared to ask, half of him didn't really want to know.

Derek shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I guess Reid wasn't kidding when he told me he was afraid of bracken ferns."

**The End!** **Yeah, I totally don't have Reid's problem, nope, no sirree... :P**

**Okay, I'm lying. I'm terribly afraid of bracken ferns, it's embarrassing really. Thankfully, they only grow during the warmer months around here. Pteridophobia is real, but very few people have it, so we might indeed be considered 'crazy'. :P**

**Bracken ferns are poisonous to animals, and they can be quite invasive in gardens, so while not many people have a fear of them, there are lots of people that hate them.**


End file.
